Jenny Sanford: “Gay marriage wrecked my family”

Posted in Gay & Lesbian, News & Media, Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2009 by urban crawler

Sullivan’s Island – South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford released another statement today, this time blaming her husband’s affair on the declining moral values in America. Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay, Sanford said, but he may as well be.  The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family.  Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.  link…

It’s been pretty quiet recently in the world of news and media, with the exception of all the shocking celebrity deaths that we’ve been hit with.  Really, no single piece of news has stirred any real emotions within me, certainly none that has inspired me to blog and rant about…of course, I’m STILL waiting for the unveiling of the real reason behind Sarah Palin’s sudden resignation.  So, anyway, I was really starting to get used to and enjoy this calm around me…that is, until this morning when I saw a post about the above article on facebook by one of my friends.  I read it half awake and half expecting the same mundane, useless little tidbit that people post, but instead the article jolted me out of my happy little euphoria and instantly made my blood boil.  Jenny Sanford, the First Lady of South Carolina, and the wife of now infamous Governor, Mark Sanford, was quoted blaming gays and gay marriage movement for wrecking her marriage.  Whhhhhattt??  Oh no, she did not just go and say that! Thousand thoughts instantly started fluttering around in my head, with some not-so-nice words mixed into it, and I actually felt a strange glee that I finally got something here that touched a nerve with me…something blog-worthy!

So, I quickly left my comment on my friend’s post, which I’ll tell you was a struggle in itself as I tried to remain dignified and calm, since I knew that some of her 300+ “friends” are neoconservative Republicans…uggh! Anyway, I chose my words carefully and bleeped out words when I just couldn’t find any other words in the English dictionary to match my sentiments.  After that, being a conscientious blogger that I am, I went to work doing my background fact check for what would be my new blog entry.  I expected when I hit the google button that I would be faced with a  whole slew of news articles and commentaries by the pundits, but instead I got next to nothing. No CNN, no Rachel Maddow, not even Rush Limbaugh that was quoted in the article.  It took me all 2 minutes after that to figure out that this story was a spoof…as a matter of fact, the whole website the story originated from was a parody, specifically a satire devoted to South Carolina.

Gotcha!  Oh, it certainly did!  It got me, my friend (who usually takes her news reporting on facebook quite seriously), and some 10 other people that also left their comments.  It gave me both a sense of relief and dismay to have to dutifully report back on facebook and set the record straight. I’m glad (and my blood pressure is glad) that this did not actually take place…this time, but I’m reminded and thus rather sad to know that we do live in a society where this could very well have taken place, and such similar ridiculous attacks on gays do indeed happen everyday.  Really, when opponents of gay marriage say that they must protect the sanctity of their marriage and their family, what do they think gay people will do?  That gays will personally invade their homes and destroy their family and marriage?  This notion is so absurd and nonsensical that I suppose humor is really the only way to look at it, and thus a perfect subject for a good parody.  Thank you to people at for my comic relief of the week and for a fantastic piece of writing.


week in review…

Posted in Entertainment, Gay & Lesbian, News & Media with tags , , , , , , , , on May 15, 2009 by urban crawler

Oh, am I glad it’s finally Friday!  What a week it’s been, and I feel the need to round up the week before signing off for the weekend.  First off, let’s update the saga of Carrie Prejean controversy…now, I really didn’t think I’d be blogging about her anymore after my last post, but I swear she just may become my next favorite blog topic after Sarah Palin if she keeps this up (my other blog)!  So, to update…
carrie prejean

  1. As predicted, another picture surfaced, and this time Carrie Prejean pulled a Janet Jackson on us and blamed it on a costume malfunction on a very windy day for her nipple exposure…hmmm, but how is it that her hair is so perfectly calm on such a windy day?
  2. Donald Trump has spoken and Carrie Prejean will keep her crown.  His logic?  “It’s the same answer that the president of the United States gave,” referring to her stance on gay marriage.  Yeah…but, what about the fact that she lied and she violated the contract?  I’m actually somewhat surprised to hear of his decision, but then again…not really.  The bottom line is, I highly doubt that he would’ve been as lenient in his boardroom, and his trivialization of a breach of contract in this case should be an insult to all the other women involved in the pageant who did faithfully abide by it.
  3. As a result of his decision, Former Miss USA Shanna Moakler resigned as co-executive director of the Miss USA pageant, saying she “cannot with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth.”  Good for her! 
  4. I had no idea that Donald Trump was the owner of Miss USA Pageant and that anything he says basically goes.  Then why even bother having a panel of judges?  We might as well just have Donald walk up and down the isle full of women and have him personally pick out his choice for a winner.  There’s another reason to add as to why I don’t watch the beauty pageants…

Ok, I’m really done with this childish, waste-of-time crap…let’s turn to something worthwhile and of real importance.  I’m a little behind in posting the video and it’s a bit lengthy, but it’s definitely worth watching.  Just yesterday, in his latest battle to keep his job as an infantry officer in the US Army, Lt. Daniel Choi released a pleading letter to President Obama.  As  Commander-in-Chief, I sincerely hope the President will expedite the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy and honor these men and women that put their lives on the line for the country everyday…

“I have personally served for a decade under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: an immoral law and policy that forces American soldiers to deceive and lie about their sexual orientation. Worse, it forces others to tolerate deception and lying. These values are completely opposed to anything I learned at West Point. Deception and lies poison a unit and cripple a fighting force.

As an infantry officer, an Iraq combat veteran and a West Point graduate with a degree in Arabic, I refuse to lie to my commanders. I refuse to lie to my peers. I refuse to lie to my subordinates. I demand honesty and courage from my soldiers. They should demand the same from me.”

I’m ready!

Posted in Health & Fitness with tags , , , , , , on May 14, 2009 by urban crawler

jillianmichaelsOk…did everyone see the season finale of The Biggest Loser on Tuesday night?  This is one TV event that is highly anticipated in our house–we may not get to see every episode during the season, but we always tune in for the big finale.  I absolutely love this show!  By the way…I know the picture of Jillian Michaels on the left doesn’t quite reflect the show, the contestants or the finale, but I can’t help it–she’s so damn HOT!!  Oh what I would give to have her as my personal trainer, but I digress… 

What’s so inspiring about the show is witnessing all the determination, the struggles, and the sheer transformation that takes place as a result of hard work and dedication, and you don’t have to be obese to appreciate any of that.  I love the message the show sends out–work hard to achieve your goals and take no shortcuts!  There’s no magic pills, fad diets, or liposuctions here…just your good ol’ fashion workouts and eating right, and the same formula applies to everyone, whether you’re trying to lose 5 pounds or 200 pounds.

After watching the finale, I’m more motivated than ever to get my workout and health back on track.  I’m not in terrible shape, but I could do so much better.  So, yesterday I took a quick assessment of my recent eating habits and took these photos:fridgecandybowlI must admit that I do enjoy the visual assortment of soda, beer and sake every time I go to open my fridge, but it’s never a good sign when water bottles start getting pushed to the back.  My other big issue is my “sweet stash”.  Yup, chocolate is my favorite vice, and this bowl is situated centrally in my kitchen…way too much temptation for anyone.  Now, I’m a firm believer of the saying, “everything in moderation”, and I have no intention of giving up either alcohol or chocolate no matter what Jillian says, but I will have to cut down considerably.  I’ve been in this “training mode” before, so I know too well what lies ahead of me, but I’m still very excited!  I’ll try to post regularly to log my progress…maybe blogging about it will help keep me accountable.

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lesbians and labels…

Posted in Entertainment, Gay & Lesbian with tags , , , , , , on May 11, 2009 by urban crawler

urbancrawlerA few weeks ago, I blogged about Queer Eye Candy, a website that I really liked, and last Thursday I decided to show my support by submitting my  photos.  This morning I checked back on their site and read the comments generated over the weekend, and they got me to think about this whole “labels” within the lesbian culture.  Why are so many lesbians preoccupied with labels?  What is the true function of labels?  Do labels help or deter a person in his/her quest for identity?

I can only answer for myself and share my personal experiences, but I think labels are just another way our society tries to classify and conform everyone into this simple and rigid set of arbitrary definitions.  I know, because I myself have gone from one extreme to the other.  During the period of being in the closet, you can say that I was your classic “femme” in appearance–the long hair, the makeup, the “girly” clothes…the lesbian that always flew under the gaydar.  Although I enjoyed the fashion aspect of it, you can say that I still used the label to my advantage to protect my “in the closet” status at that time.  Then when I finally came out, I went through another significant period of being over-exuberant.  The freedom of finally being “out” translated into a desire to be more radical and to have this “no-apologies” attitude about who I was to anyone.  I also wanted to belong and be recognized in my new “community”, so I cut my hair short and sported a “butch” attitude that came with the look. 

This went on for a while, but then I finally calmed down and eventually grew out of this “adolescent lesbian” years and that’s when I really started to get to know myself and become comfortable with who I was.  Now, fashion is just a fashion to me…whereas my style is a definite reflection of my personality, clothes and outward appearances do not define me as a woman, as a lesbian or as a person.

Again, this is just my own take on it…I think labels among lesbians is a very complicated subject with many different layers and implications, but I do know that between a “femme” and a “butch” lies a whole spectrum and all the small subtleties that make up that spectrum is the true reflection of all the different lesbians among us.

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Carrie Prejean – oh, the hypocrisy!

Posted in Gay & Lesbian, News & Media with tags , , , , , on May 7, 2009 by urban crawler

Carrie PrejeanWhen the whole Miss USA pageant controversy surrounding Miss California first surfaced over a month ago, my initial reaction was mostly that of indifference. When I saw the clip of Carrie Prejean’s interview and her answer to what she thought about gay marriage, I just snickered a bit and shook my head, but thought that she was entitled to her opinion. I even thought that if anything, Perez Hilton’s vblog after the contest where he called her a “bitch” was unnecessary and childish.  Do I think that her answer caused her the title? Probably. Do I think that it was right for her to not win based on her answer? Absolutely. However, I do not agree with Hilton’s argument that she should’ve answered  differently to come off sounding more neutral on the issue. I’m always a proponent of “tell the truth and say what you mean”.  Of course, she couldn’t just let things be and for weeks following the pageant, she went on a media blitz and started invoking God for everything and even went on to become a spokesperson for the National Organization of Marriage, and that’s when my irritations really started to grow.

My issues with Carrie Prejean wasn’t for her voicing her opinion on the night of the pageant, but for her lies and hypocrisy that are becoming more and more apparent as all the dirt on her is now being dug up. By now, I’m sure everyone has seen the semi-nude pictures of her. First it was just one, but on the morning news today we learn that there’s another…and probably many more to follow. I’m not even going to touch on the subject of her moral character as a “Christian” to have posed for these pictures–I’ll leave that up to all the righteous Christians out there to do. My one and only point is that she LIED! Posing for semi-nude pictures is a clear violation of her contract as Miss California, as there’s a clause which asks the participants to say whether they have conducted themselves “in accordance with the highest ethical and moral standards”, and as an example, it asks if they have ever been photographed nude or partially nude”She can try to back paddle all she wants and argue that it was a lingerie model shoot or that she was only 17 and stupid, but a fact is a fact and she did indeed pose partially nude.  Furthermore, she initially went on the record to say that “there are no other photos of me…this was the only one I took.”  Well, now we all know that she LIED again! 

So I have to ask Carrie Prejean…does the same God you worship think it’s okay for you to lie?  I believe it’s the 9th commandment that states Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor”It’s aggravating whenever I hear Christians call upon God only when it conveniently suits their purpose in passing judgement against others, but the true reality is that they need to stop pointing their fingers at others and instead look deep within themselves first…that’s what God would truly want.  As for Carrie Prejean, her title as Miss California should be stripped (pun intended) for her contract violations.

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my current dilemma…

Posted in Arts, Gay & Lesbian with tags , , , , on May 1, 2009 by urban crawler

While catching up on my blog reading, I came across this post and learned something new today about the secret code of lesbianism.  Who knew that sporting a nautical star tattoo on your wrist is the universal signal for lesbians?  Well, apparently it is:

Since the 1940’s and 1950’s, a nautical star tattoo has been used by some homosexuals to indicate their sexual preference. Lesbians started this practice among themselves during an era when homosexuality was frowned upon and not spoken about. Many lesbians chose to get a small nautical star tattoo on the top of their wrist, which could easily be covered by a watch if needed.

I had no idea!  Too bad I’m not too fond of the nautical star, or any other stars for that matter…which brings me to my next point, my current dilemma.  I have been thinking, talking, and debating about getting a tattoo for a long while now.  My birthday is coming up and it seems that each year right around this time is when my tattoo desire starts to flare up again and I always seem to get stuck on the same issues of, what and where.

As far as where to put the tattoo, I have managed to narrow it down to somewhere on my upper body, which still doesn’t help a lot.  Everyone I’ve talked to, whether they have a tattoo or not, all seem to have different opinions.  My attorney friend M, has suggested a more discreet location like the lower side abdomen or the inner chest area, for reasons of it not interfering with your “professional image”.  As plausible as it first sounded, I had to think twice about her logic when I asked her to show me her tattoo and she nearly forgot where it was and literally took her 20 seconds to find it!  My artsy friend T, is more of an advocate for “going for the dramatic statement”.  Well, her tattoo is the size of Alaska and it spans her whole upper back, wrapping around to one of her shoulders…not sure if I want THAT much statement.  Another friend L, who’s in the health care field, is all about where it’ll hurt the most and least, lecturing me on body fat concentration and nerve endings…she pretty much ruled out 95% of the human body…no small wonder then that she has no tattoos.  Finally, there’s my most systematic and “I love clean lines” girlfriend, who prefers the upper back shoulder or the lower back because it’s “more subtly classy” that way, but it makes me wonder what the point of having a tattoo is if you can’t see it without the aid of a mirror.  Oh, and she also opposes any tattoo that is on one side of the body only, like the arm, because it “creates a visual imbalance”…well, I guess I could get two matching tattoos on either side of my body then…

The bigger and more important question is of course, what?  The idea of something permanent going on your body is very nerve wrecking  and I truly do envy those that are able to get tattoos rather effortlessly.  It may seem exaggerated, but if you can see the bare walls in my house due to my indecisiveness in choosing artwork, maybe you’ll understand my neurosis better.  So, I’ve been searching for that perfect image with the perfect meaning behind it and that hasn’t been easy.  I’ve done enough research now on different symbols and signs of every culture out there to earn me a PhD and I even toyed with the idea of designing my own tattoo, but quickly decided that I did not want to be my own critic every time I look at it…yeah, that was definitely a bad idea.  So, the search goes on and right now I’m cautiously optimistic that this will be the year…or not.  You’ll definitely hear me blog about it when there’s an update…stay tuned.

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too hot for Facebook?

Posted in Entertainment, Gay & Lesbian, News & Media with tags , , , , , , on April 28, 2009 by urban crawler

“The image of this ad is either irrelevant or inappropriate. Per sections 3 and 8 of Facebook’s Advertising Guidelines, the image on your ad should be relevant and appropriate to the item being advertised. Make sure your image is directly relevant to what you are advertising. Images that are overly explicit, provocative, or that reveal too much skin are not allowed. Images that may either degrade or idealize any health condition or body type are also not allowed. If you choose to submit this ad again, please use an appropriate image that adheres to all of Facebook’s Advertising Guidelines.”

lola_adThis is the ad for the upcoming film,  And Then Came Lola, that was banned by Facebook for the stated reasons above.  Understandably, it has angered the filmmakers who are now striking back on its Facebook fan page and calling the ban hypocritical and unfairly targeted against LGBT materials.  Check on sites like AfterEllen and Jezebel and you’ll see the buzz that’s already created by many who share in denouncing Facebook.  Well, with the recent Amazon controversy still fresh, it’s easy to quickly jump on the bandwagon and call it yet another attack on gays and lesbians, but I for one will have to side with Facebook on this one…hate to say it, but it’s true.  If you’re to read the statement above carefully, I think it’s pretty clear that this picture did not pass the guidelines due to its explicit and provocative nature and I believe it wouldn’t have made any difference had it featured two women and a man or two men and a woman.  Dont’ get me wrong, I think the picture is sexy as hell and tastefully done, but you can’t blame Facebook for following their set rules.  Now, show me a similar picture with straight people that was allowed by Facebook and I’ll change my mind in a heartbeat.

Facebook has now reversed their decision, so now everyone can drool over the picture!  The trailer looks pretty hot as well…

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